Better By Nightfall

• Good (Scöhn)
  
  
  
  • 4.0 for this semester! Hellz' FUCKING YEAH!!!
    
  • GERMAN BEER! (Need I say more?!)
    
  • Seeing the family!
    
  • Woo! Cookies! I could live on these for days. Sugar cookies r t3h goodness!
    
  • Again, watching Kill Bill always gets me in the Christmas Spirit!
    
  • While wrapping gifts "professionally" all I could think about was Wanda Sykes-Hall talking about Professional Titties at a strip club. (Them be professional titties, I'll pay to see those!)
    
  • Snow, and lots of it!
    
  • Getting Money, lots of good clothes, and DKNY Be Delicious cologne (which makes Bree and I "BFF!" as Sasha would say. Hahahah!)
    
  
  
• Bad (Nicht Schön)
  
  
  
  • Being home with no Boca/Vegan foods or organic food stuffs = not so good.
    
  • Getting addicted to playing Mario Party 7 on the gamecube. Who knew?!
    
  • Snow, and lots of shoveling!
    
  • The crazy Germans driving crazily on the already crazy and defunct roads, especially when it's snowing.
    
  
  

Finals are finally over with for this semester, but, unlike some people I know COUGHBreeCOUGH, they are not over forever (and by forever, I mean the for the conclusion of my undergraduate career). I still have roughly a year to two and a half to go depending on what all I decide to do.

Needless to say, I'm glad I got through it all without a case of irritable bowl syndrome. Seriously though, finals went well and although this week was hella' busy between work, studying, and finals, it has been one of the best and most rewarding ones I've had this semester. Honestly, this semester has been one of the hardest semesters I've had to endure, but I think that's what makes it mean more to me. All the struggle, all those late nights freaking out reading and writing, has made it worth the while. Plus, having my good friends to help balance me out when I got in too deep helped me along this semester as well. And, perhaps, for the first time since college started, I've come to a realization of how much I've needed my friends and how much I'm going to miss some of them when they graduate (Yeah, I'm talking about you Bree!).

So, here's to another semester down and an unknown number (as of yet!) to go!


P.S. I'll get to comments and such later this week/weekend. I'm taking a well deserved break from everything. Yeah, that's right, I'm SLEEPING MY ASS OFF! >:D

First off, I have to note that I've thoroughly enjoyed the comments on the Geek In The Pink post. I, of course, find most amazing and good things about myself interesting. (Alas, the inner-narcissist emerges!) But seriously, it's been great to hear what everyone thinks on the subject. Please, feel free to contribute more comments on that subject as you see fit!

Secondly, as you can clearly see I've updated the template again. As it is winter, I figured blues would be used best here along with the masthead image. The lyrics are from "Forget December" by Something Corporate off the album "Songs For Silent Movies." I chose them, in part, because while I do enjoy December I often feel that it is one of the loneliest months in the year. For myself in particular, loneliness clearly emerges sometime after finals are over and somewhere between traversing across the Atlantic and arriving in a place where only the warmth of my family signals home. Indeed, not having such great and close friends nearby during the crisp and bitter nights of winter dulls my spirits as I have no one else to relate to on a similar level of thought, spontaneity, and amusement. Though I do, of course, love my family dearly, it's just not the same when friends aren't around. No doubt, Germany can be and is a blast to go to every year, I just wish I had more friends there to share my time with.
Also on this note, assuming I have to debunk this before Bree mentions something about it, I do not have a man-crush on Andrew McMahon. I simply enjoy his lyrical stylings and rockingly melodic piano-backed rhythms. (This is in regards to the fact that all of my mastheads since May of this year have had lyrics from Andrew McMahon. He is part of both Something Corporate [SoCo] and Jack's Mannequin. SoCo RULES, bitches!) You'll be happy to know that the next masthead will be from a different band NOT related to Andrew McMahon...those of you that actually care to follow the origins of my masthead lyrics. Jeesh!

Finally, I'm preparing for finals which means I need to continue cracking down on the studying before kicking back. Though, I could sure use a beer or two to get through some of my readings, I have restricted myself from doing such until Thursday night of next week. At which time I'm down for just about anything. With a little luck, that will mean MASSIVE amounts of partying before my departure. So, if you don't hear from me between now and then (next week) know that I haven't died, at least from what you know. Though, it is entirely possible that between both the insane consumption of caffeine and sleep deprivation that I may not be "alive" in the proper sense.

I've got this theory that geeks don't get dates; unless, of course, they create a total babe like Anthony Michael Hall did in Weird Science or, perhaps, find a blow up doll. Either way, those options are unrealistic for me. (Chace, damnit, I don't want to hear about how a blow up doll IS an option for me. And yes, I already know that there is ALWAYS porn. Or as you call it, pron, that totally rock'n band!)

Honestly, though, geeks and dating just don't mix. Kind of like beer before liquor. Only not as volatile. Granted, this is stereotypical of me to assume such. Geeks can and do date. ALL. THE. TIME. With other geeks and nerds. (What, you know it's true! I mean, really, how many nerds are with t3h sexy chix0rz?!) (Veneliza is an exception to this rule; but, V, you have to admit that you do have t3h g33k g3n3! And your g33k1n355 combined with Jeff's forms a strong g33k bond that r potentially t3h uber-strong.)

So, maybe it's just me? Maybe I don't mix with the dating scene? I'm not sure. I was talking with a good friend of mine the other night, and she told me that I do "have it all": (as listed by her) good looks, great eyes, smarts, and a good personality. The only thing I'm lacking? "Confidence." Confidence? Confidence, I'm confident in that cuz' maybe I'm shy that way? Perhaps that's it though? I mean, maybe I don't have the balls I think I do? Yeah, that's probably it, I thought to myself, I'm all talk and no cock...and balls. Seriously, though, I think my friend may have had a point. I think I need to just grip it and say, "What's up? Do you want to hang out sometime." Or "I have mad money and I'll get you some grub if you give me some luv." Don't like that line? Damn, I was working on that one all night. Like that Keira Knightly line: Keira, I'd do her "Knightly."

Needless to say, I plan on being more assertive about dating (though, maybe not exactly as I said it above). Now, all I need to do is hone my geek technique and not be afraid to speak to a rock'n lady when I meet her.

Image from Muzzy.net, created by Matt Nikki.

I can't focus. My mind has almost officially checked out for this semester, and at a potentially dangerous time. My mind keeps telling me: "Shhiiiit, bitch!! Forget reading, studying, writing! Screw them, screw them all! It's break time! BREAK. TIME!" I can't get these notions out of my head. I sat down to read more of Noli Me Tangere last night and earlier tonight and I can't get through it. It's not so much that it is slightly difficult, but more so that my mind is elsewhere. If this keeps up, I think I might need to hit up an ADHD kid or "drug vendor" who can score me some retalin.

This is hilarious to me and probably to those of you who remember my horrible "case of indigestion" (diarrhea, if you want to be technical) that occurred before I departed Germany to return here. So now, technically, someone could give me Salmonella. I already had it though. So, please, don't give it to me again. It was a horrible experience that I never want to relive. And sometimes, at the strangest times and especially at debate tournaments, I can still feel the cramps of doom!

Was that too much information?

Update: If you click on the comments be ready for some real "potty-mouth" discussion. By clicking on the comments you enter at your own risk!

As you've probably noticed, I tinkered with the flickr photo badge. Originally I had a Macromedia flash badge that dynamically displayed numerous images. However, in realizing that my blog is usually very image intensive (which means it takes longer to load), I decided to remove the flash badge and re-replace it with a simple html badge to make loading my blog quicker.

Later this week I plan to change the masthead and, possibly, the template colors. I'll keep you all posted.

The first REAL snow of the season finally hit tonight, causing the temperatures to drop and the roads to be icy. Joy!

Thanksgiving Break was a blast! There is no other way to describe it, honestly. It embodied everything a good break should embody. Originally I was going to write a long post about everything, but most of it can be seen in my pictures (slideshow) on flickr. When Lacey uploads her pictures you can see the other half of the trip too. If you are counted as a friend of mine on flickr you will be able to see more pictures, by the way.

It was great to visit with Chace again after not seeing him for two years. It was also good to finally meet Sasha, his girlfriend of a year and a half. Hanging out with both of them awesome. We had such an amazing time. Thinking back to it makes me smile and laugh at all the random, but hella' fun things we all did together.

Victor and the Tetons were amazing too! I've never seen such a naturally beautiful place in my life. Everything was so scenic! Plus, it was very relaxing and calming. There was no stress at all over break. Seeing the tetons and looking down at the valley made me realize the grandeur and grace of mother nature. Truly amazing.

Check out some of the select pictures below (clickable to my flickr account) or click the link above to look at the slideshow and see all of the pictures.

Now that Thanksgiving break is finally here, I'm free to relax and breathe. I'm going to be out of town and down in Southern Idaho for most of this week. I'm sure it will be fun. We'll be visiting my good friend and old roommate Chace and then hanging out with Lacey's extended family during Thanksgiving.

Sounds eventful, huh? Well, I'm sure it will be once things get going. That's how everything has been for most of this semester: eventful.

Speaking of eventful, on Friday night Nancy, Lacey, Glenn, and I saw Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. Having read all the Harry Potter books, I wasn't entirely impressed with the adaptation to the big screen. It was very well done though. The shading and special effects were very well done. The most interesting aspect of the movie, though, was how they portrayed Voldermort. The makeup people must have had a fun time with that. He was similar to how I pictured him for the most part, except I didn't picture him prancing around the ground like it was hot.

We also saw an extended preview to The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. It looks amazingly awesome and I can't wait to see it. I have a friend here who is close friends with the people who created NarniaWeb (which is based in Boise) who is lucky enough to see the sneak preview showing. Apparently NarniaWeb is the largest fan-based website dedicated to Narnia, and that's why the creators and maintainers are getting free tickets to see the sneak preview. Lucky!

Which reminds me, Lacey's trying to tell me that I need to see RENT (or as I like to call it "Everyone has AIDS!") with her, but I don't think that's going to happen. Besides, there are many way better movies coming out that are worth seeing, like Aeon Flux.

Aside from that, I judged at a high school speech tournament yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was surprised at how well most of the competition was prepared. I remember going to this same tournament last year and seeing people unprepared and running around dressed as Frodo with a green cape and leaf brooch. Talk about accessorizing! Yeah, it was kind of disturbing. However, as I said before, most teams were prepared. It was great to see debaters who were well versed in their material that spoke very well (except for Policy debate, because POLICY DEBATE IS THE SCUM OF DEBATE). Even the novices were good, especially in good ol' L-D Debate. It's good to see that form of debate starting to thrive with excellent competition.

Needless to say, it's been a good weekend so far. I'm sure the week will be even better once we make it to Southern Idaho.

In the meantime, download and listen to Jack's Mannequin's new song: The Lights and Buzz. Available on iTunes. It's an excellent song, full of strength, catchy beats, and emotion. Worth the $.99!

Have a rock'n good time this Thanksgiving, everyone! Be thankful! I know I'm thankful for many things: Family, Friends, Music, Money, Food, Video Games, Jenna Jameson er Kristin Kreuk or Michelle Branch or BOTH! You get the picture! ;) If I'm near a computer during break I'll be sure to type up a post and let you know what's been going on. Rock out, ya'll!

I finished my Abnormal Psychology test in roughly 20 minutes and I feel very confident that I did well. Thank God for a good memory and note cards. I don't know where I would be without either of them. Seriously, I don't.

I'll post a weekend in review later today or tomorrow so you can hear how we did at the tournament and whatever else went on. I've been busy playing the catch-up game this week, though.

Well, it's more like one of those propeller planes. Anyway, I'm out until Monday. Hopefully this will be an eventful, fun, and worthwhile weekend.

I wish I had something more interesting to write about, but things have been mellow lately. Classes are good and everything seems to be winding down as Thanksgiving break is on the horizon in a week.

Our last tournament of the semester is this weekend, possibly my last tournament for this academic year (pending some much needed downtime to think about everything). After all, when I finally was able to think about everything without freaking out I came to the realization that it was the center of all my stress. So some time away from speech and debate will be very welcomed.

The nerd in me wants to get Dragon Quest VIII because that's what the nerd in me does--play video games. From what I've read, this is supposed to be the biggest game on the PS2 for the end of this year. Should be interesting. Apparently it's so big in Japan that they release the game in segments so no one can pirate it as rapidly.

Aeon Flux looks awesome. Though, I have to say that Charlize Theron looks strikingly similar to Trinity from The Matrix. It looks bad ass though. Sci-fi and high tech, my kind of movie. I wonder how similar, if at all, it will be to the original cartoon that was on MTV. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire comes out next weekend, which I'm entirely sure they butchered the hell out of in comparison to the book. But hey, I already have reserve tickets and I'm going with my fellow nerds. After which we will theorize about what else is to come in the final tome.

And, finally, I've been meaning to update this template as I usually do every month. However, I haven't found a song that really strikes me. So, the template will stay like this until I do.

Tales of an Enlightened Fellow is a photo blog consisting of photos largely from the Czech Republic. I stumbled upon the blog while blog-hopping as I tend to do every now and then. Seeing the pictures of Prague immediately captured my eyes and instantly took me back to the my numerous visits there. It's such an amazing place. In my opinion, Prague and most of the Czech Republic is a real hidden beauty among Europe. Most people think that Paris, Berlin, Rome, Vatican City, and England are these beautiful and excellent places, but they really pale in comparison to the scenic beauty of Prague. It has a fusion of old Europe and new Europe that meshes together against a backdrop full of shades of green. It seems subtly beautiful at first, but when you're in the downtown area there is so much culture and life. Oh how I long to return again in the near future.

[Background: My Western World Literature class, discussing Lysistrata and it's cross-implications today. Our Professor asked our class what would have happened if a woman would've been president instead of a man on 911. Earlier during the discussion I pointed out that we should look at it from a Communication standpoint primarily, then a situational standpoint. Most people, however, debated otherwise.]

50 Year Old Woman: Well, I personally think that had a woman been president in light of 911 she would've done things differently. For starters, she probably would've thought things through and discussed things with her cabinet. Now, her cabinet would probably be full of women, or mostly women, and I think they'd sit down and discuss everything before taking action.
Me: (leaning over to Brianna, my friend behind me in class)Yeah, it'd be just like "The View," only now they'd try to discuss politics along with shoes, hair, cosmetics, and sex! Could you imagine?
Brianna: (laughs loudly) Oh my god, that's hilarious! They can barely function as it is!
Me: I know! They'd be like, "I think Tony Blair actually has more makeup on him than I do!" "Me too! But, oh my god, did YOU see what he was wearing during our meeting?" Blah, blah, blah.
Brianna: Yeah! Just imagine if there was a "Monica-gate Scandal" again?
Me: Now that'd be interesting.
Brianna: Yeah it would!
Me: Well, I mean it would be interesting if it was woman on woman action.
Brianna: Oh jeez! (laughs) Yeah, well if a certain somebody was in office we just might see that.
Me: Well, rumor has it that she has a penis.
Brianna: Would that be "girl-on-girl" action then?
Me: Hmm. From the waist up, yes; from below, no.

After being terribly stressed out and beyond EMO-depressive, I can finally say that things are better. The last few days, which I originally termed "diarrhea" because it was like shit was everywhere, are now more of a point of reflection than anything else. I look back on them and still wonder how I let so many things get to me. It was like one thing piled upon another until I felt like I was trapped, burdened. The slightest things were trigger points, each like a pin pressing into me. I couldn't sort things out, I couldn't set things straight. Instead, I let everything become some sort of issue that was beyond my control, which seemed to make things harder and harder because I wanted to have more control.

It wasn't until I talked to my mother, after practically having a nervous/emotional breakdown, that I came back around. She humorously reminded me that sometimes these things happen for a reason. Particualrly, when I told her that my brother had broken some of my things, My mother noted that sometimes things get broken and our savings has to be used to replace things. In which she jokingly talked about how my brother broke a wired German window (which are VERY expensive) when we were still kids and how my dad and her had to pay to replace it instead of going on a vacation to Italy:

"Here I thought we would all have a nice vacation under the sun, enjoying delicious food, playing at the beach. Instead, our vacation was turned into the lines and broken glass from the window. I remember telling you dad, 'See that line, that's us on the beach.' So, see, it's not so bad. Maybe it was meant to be? Maybe, because we didn't go we were together as a family more or less because that was what was nessisary at the time. Sometimes things are as they are and you just have to learn to let them go and know that somehow everything will work out in due course."

Sometimes, while I'm on itunes, I like to listen to other people's collection of tracks. None more so than "Lori" though. She's got one of the most interesting and eclectic mixes from alternative, oldies, emo, punk, to a nice wide assortment of indie. Lately, while searching through her 20.2 GB's worth of music I stumbled on some Of Montreal whom I first heard about through Bardot. I highly recommend you check out all of their music as it's hip and rock'n to groove to. Plus, their video for Wraith Pinned to the Mist (and other games) is a good watch. I also heardGary Jules (check out "No Poetry") whom sounds alternative borderline country. I haven't heard him before, so if you have kudos to you. I also enjoyed listening to The Notwist (check out "Off The Rails") who sounds indie-rockish. Finally, as recommended by dooce sometime ago, I heard Idlewild who totally rocks the fscking cazba. They're like Coldplay only ten times better, minus the piano, add a violin and some rocking riffs.

Usually I'd go off on each artist's style, but you just need to check them out for yourself. Hopefully the links will get you to some of their music.

I've prepared myself for my midterm tomorrow in Eastern Civilizations as best as possible given the time constraints upon returning from the debate tournament. As I'm not good at writing in when timed as evidenced when I got a 3 instead of a 4 or 5 on my AP English exam (seriously, I stand by timing being the main factor in my inability to get a 4 or 5), I hope I can pull this off well enough. Hopefully I can write well enough that my ideas are laconic, cogent, and succinct.

I know I can do it, I just need to get it done.

It's good to be home after an elongated weekend in the middle of the great plains. While the tournament went surprisingly well considering the judges didn't time any of us, it wasn't of the usual caliber our team encounters. There were good debaters and speakers, but overall, the prevalence of each was minimal with exception to our team. I know that sounds egotistical, but it's true. It was almost like most of the other teams weren't prepared and just showed up for the hell of it. As a result, we won first place by almost double the points of the second place team, and so on.

Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled by the tournament. Still, having Lacey there was a nice change from the last tournament where it was boring and everyone seemed to be feeling each other out. In terms of the social dynamic of the team, this tournament was significantly better.

Other than that, though, the weekend didn't hold much. We ate at the Cracker Barrel two times, which was good. We also ate at the Atlanta Bread Company twice and it was heavenly. I really wish Boise had one of those. The food was excellent, and the atmosphere of the bakery/restaurant was calming and classy. If I had the capital to bring one of them here, I most certainly would!

Yesterday, before we left Oklahoma City, we decided to see the Murrah Federal Building Memorial. It was a nice sight to see, but the museum was, in essence, the nadir of the trip. After winning and having a great time, we were exposed to the depressing footage from that horrible day. As such, most of the team left the museum in silence, thoroughly depressed.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I got a Superior in Impromptu and an Excellent in POI. Go me! Now, the question remains, will I be prepared for the next tournament that is coming up in 17 days?

This semester has been an interesting and perplexing lesson in sacrifice. I'm not sure if it's because I've become more self-aware or if it is because I'm being more selfish than I was before. Regardless, I've come to realize that there is a time and a place for sacrifice and significant costs and benefits with each sacrifice.

Perhaps that's why I've been focusing on my studies more so than any other year. I'm focused on my studies because they are all engaging and interesting this semester--the first time this has happened. It's hard for me to simply half-ass my way through these classes because I feel compelled to do beyond my best as I enjoy these classes so much. That's why, in the wake of this weekend's tournament, I've decided to place my weight and value in these classes over speech and debate. So much so, that I skipped speech today (to finish all my readings and respond to them AND study for a test and a quiz) and slightly offended my coach. And while I initially felt bad, I don't anymore. I love debate, it's stimulating and enjoyable. However, it is not my life. Sacrificing one class of speech so that I can stay ahead of schedule and get the grades I know I am more than capable of and deserve, then, seems like more than proper balance to me.

Still, I realize that I let this powerful perception of my coach get to me. I let it govern my feelings, I let it make me feel guilty. However, and this is ironic (but it is the strange and great purpose of having a brother/family around), my brother helped me realize that my coach, and any problems/issues/etc. for that matter, are only as powerful and difficult as I perceive them. I knew this, but I never realized the weight of it until now. My brother, surprisingly, helped me out. I don't feel guilty for missing that class today, not anymore. I know I did what was right for me either out of self-awareness or selfishness, and that's all that matters. I am a student first and foremost, and this...this is just another tournament in a stream of many more to come. Another issue of many more.

I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise, especially if their intent is to make me feel guilty for a proper and beyond equivalent sacrifice. No matter what happens this weekend, good or bad, I know I made the right decision.

You only have as much power over me as I allow you to have.

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

As I've noted numerous times before, the weekends before a tournament are the worst. In addition to trying to stay ahead, I must also manage to practice my speeches as many times as possible so as to improve them and make sure they are memorized. This weekend, of course, is no exception to that.

This week shored up some wonderful assignments to keep me boarded up in my room from dawn until dusk: an English paper, a 20 page reading for English, a reading response, studying for my abnormal psychology test, eastern civilization readings (to stay ahead) and outlines for the midterm, readings for interpersonal communication (to stay ahead), as well as debate topic research and speech practice.

Again, my brain motivates me to do all these things, reminding me that I've gotten through such situations before. Cynically, though, I remind myself that, while that may be the case, the pressure and stress are too much. Not that I'll burnout, but I will get burned in one way or another. I just hope they're only first or, at most, second degree burns. Manageable. Recoverable.

I've been in a weird mood lately. I think, given the numerous things that have occurred (classes driving me crazy, debate/speech gone awry, and other personal issues), it has probably been in the course of things to come and I just didn't anticipate it. I dislike how life does that to you--how we are aware it is cyclical, but blinded to its approaches. That's just life though. That's change.

Yet, even as I know this, I feel somewhat disheartened. I accept change as it comes so rapidly, but what it leaves in its wake is harder to deal with. Things always seem correct and proper at first until you realize that the scenery has changed and that you can't do much about it except keep moving. That's how this year has been so far: change without control. It's the reason why I'm not as happy as I was last year on the debate team, even though we do well and I've done well. It's the reason why I'm more motivated to focus on myself and my classes because they seem to be one of the only static things I have. It's the reason that certain things have fallen apart, even though I tried my best to mend some of them.

I'm sure there is a reason for all of this, maybe even some motivation to grow and do more. And that is great, but I'm just not feeling it right now.

I need a break, a long extended break.

Rising indie music from Silversun Pickups from their EP Pikul. It's rockably mellow and strikingly intense with abstract lyrics and great guitar rifs. I especially like Kissing Families, the title track (I'm assuming), which is has an ruggedly uplifting drum beat in conjunction with the guitar rifs. It also has a nice bass/violin breakdown. The images portrayed in the song are scattered and far between, but they come together in the lyrics later as the song unfolds to state "that everything is connected and beautiful, and now I know just where I stand" bringing it in to a deeper context. Booksmart Devil opens with eerily haunting sounds to emerge later as a toned-down rock song with echoing electrical chords, picking up lyrical momentum along the way. Sci Fi Lullaby details the end of a relationship with simple, but effective acoustic tunege. The rest of the album is also well orchestrated and worth the listen. All in all, the seven song EP Pikul is worth the buy if you dig similar sounds from Straylight Run (minus the piano) or Death Cab For Cutie (with a bit more drums and a little bit of a lyrical outburst from the lead singer here and there), but you can only buy it on itunes or at one of their concerts. Of course, you could just listen to the three songs (Kissing Families, Booksmart Devil, and The Fuzz) they have streaming on their website if else fails. At least do that much.

After finishing The Epic of Gilgamesh for my Western World Literature paper, I have to say that it is interestingly more intricate than I originally gave it credit for. Who knew? Now, if I can write this as well as I see it after some in-depth analysis, maybe I will get an A?

Marching Bands of Manhattan
by Death Cab For Cutie
from Plans


If I could open my arms
and span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
making a lake of the East River and Hudson
And if I could open my mouth
wide enough for a marching band to march out of
they would make your name sing
and bend through alleys and bounce off other buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
that I live like a hermit in my own head
but when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown (4x)

Your love is gonna drown (4x)
Your love is gonna...

Take a 40 minute shower daily especially during the times when I need to use the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for classes and work. Thanks a lot dear asshole of a brother! It wouldn't hurt you to conserve just a little and cut 20-30 minutes off you shower time so other people, namely ME, could use the bathroom.

Thanks, fucktard!

Midterms are fast approaching in college land at this time of year. It is during this time that professors toss out enormous papers with all too soon due dates and/or tests that are worth a large portion of your grade in hopes that you can juggle everything as you ride along, carefully so, on your unicycle positioned ever so steadily on a tightrope.

Perhaps it's not that bad, especially for most people. I'm sure a paper and a test or two can't be too detrimental. In my case, they wouldn't cause problems if I didn't have to juggle debate along with the rest of it. Not that debate is difficult, because it isn't when you're prepared and have a good debate partner (of which, I'm sure I'm saying goodbye to Hillary at semester as she is seeing wedding bells more and more). Rather, when mixed with the rest of these courses, it is the one, and usually the only one, that spells potential disaster to everything else. While I do enjoy debate, the time it requires us to spend away from courses, especially tough courses (e.g. Eastern Civilizations and Western World Literature), is a bit much. This year it is also costing me work time, which, in turn, is costing me money. Our next tournament will cost me three days of class, two of which are important days in my Eastern Civilizations class because they are right before the midterm. While I'm not too worried with the course right now, the weight that the midterm carries is starting to leave me slightly anxious in the wake of this realization.

As nerdy as I am, I'll probably pull through just fine. Which is good. It's my standards for this semester, however, that are starting to pull at me. I digress though. Instead, the motto "If you have a problem and it can be solved, don't worry about it. If you have a problem and it can't be solved, don't worry about it" seems to ring in my head as a reminder that things are as they are for a reason and you can only do your best. Even if you want your best to be a 4.0.

After a slump of a weekend which included a lot of reading for both courses and speeches, I was finally uplifted by the Desperate Housewives. Thank God for dark comic relief after a weekend of reading.

• Tonight — Attending a lecture given by Karen Armstrong on "The Battle For God." It should prove to be interesting and potentially helpful for debate/speech stuff.
  
• Wednesday — Nothing in particular. Working on my paper for Western World Lit and maybe some other stuffs.
  
• Thursday — Seeing Death Cab For Cutie in concert with Lacey, Chad, and Cary. After which, I will be finalizing my WWL paper and studying for my quiz in Eastern Civilizations.
  
• Friday — Communications Study Group for Movie Analysis. We chose "10 Things I Hate About You," and by "we" I mean that the girls in my group (which is the rest of the group as I'm the only guy) thought that it would be best. I guess it's not too bad though. Julia Stiles works for me!
  

I finally organized most of my room today. Given the schedule of events I've gone through during the last five weeks, I haven't really had much time to organize much of anything in my life, let alone my room. After the tournament got over last weekend, though, a lot of my time freed up and I was able to start getting rid of the boxes that have sat in my room for the last two weeks. Now it actually looks like someone lives here, and it only took a month!

I won't go so far as to say that it feels like home (because if this were home I wouldn't be living with my brother), but I will say that it feels like a place of residence that I can live in agreeably. Haha!

As per usual, I've updated the blog colors and masthead.

The masthead and lyrics are cut and dry, I think. The obvious and literal connection: I chose a picture of leaves in the fall because leaves, of course, change with the seasons. Reasons, likewise, change heedlessly--sometimes taking into account everything going on, and sometimes they change at the whim of a moment. Right now, this time is that whim, that change that has occurred and continues to occur.

I feel that, in many ways, my life changes like the seasons around me. I go through seasons of winter when it's lonely, empty, and a bit chilly, but often beautiful; seasons of spring when it rains and there is new growth and understanding; seasons of summer when the sun shines to illuminate the world (and potentially burn you) but increase the shadows of things yet to come; and seasons of fall when colors change and the atmosphere cools, when things are no longer clouded by the haziness of the heat of summer (or the chill of winter, or the rain of spring). In this regard, fall is the clearest of all seasons--a time of change, but in clarity and understanding--because there is nothing to distract attention in the atmosphere. There are only colors of change and moments of reflection with each leaf falling.

Happy Birthday Lacey!

I know you are using today as your day off, as you should before your LSAT. Take the time to relax and prepare yourself for the test (without practicing the practice tests). Then, KICK THE LSAT's ASS! Get that 167! Haha!

When it's all over we'll hang out and party. Remember the saying:

"AH FUCK IT (FUCK IT) I'm gonna have a party!"
--Blankest Year by Nada Surf

I also figured out what's up with your gift and it should be on its way soon enough ;) Rock out!

• Zox's The Wait -- Rockin' rad violin-laced indie punk rock.
  
• Nada Surf's This Weight Is A Gift -- Indie California "Surf and Sun" feel good rock.
  
• The January Taxi's Keep Quiet, They Might Hear Us -- Emo-esque indie punk and rock; ranging in sounds from Bright Eyes to Days Away (I actually own this CD, it's the others that I do not own.)
  
• Jason Mraz's Mr. A-Z -- With as much variety as a compilation album, Mraz combines different styles and genres to create an awesome mix of upbeat songs each with their own message.
  

Maintain the image that your website is "up all the time," but take it down often for repairs, upgrades, and God knows what else every time I want to upload photos.

You realize, of course, that I am a PAYING customer for your services (or lack thereof, sometimes), right?

This weekend's tournament went very well, much to the surprise of many on the team. Though, I have to say that once most of us got into rounds, I think we realized that we were more prepared than we thought we were. That realization alone, I think, propelled many of us to do better. In the end our team took 1st place at the tournament with almost every team member taking home at least one award. I took home 3rd in CA and 3rd in Impromptu Speaking (which was especially great because I won every round with the number one speaker and only lost out on second by 2 points and first by 3 points).

Aside from that, though, things were different. I never realized how much I relied on Lacey being around as someone to talk to be about anything, to joke with, complain to, and, when things were going bad, to hug. I know that sounds kind of lame, but when you're on trips like this and things aren't going well, at least in my case, you need someone there to let you know that things are going to be okay. That you're probably just being to hard on yourself or just taking things way to seriously. I didn't have that this weekend though, and while it turned out well it was strange. I think the weirdest and "toughest" time was during the awards ceremony, the time Lacey and I usually listen to "The First Single (You Know Me)" by The Format because it's "our song" and it's so much better than listening to Queen in the Auditorium. Instead, the awards ceremony was kind of dull. Sure, it was great to be awarded those three awards, but it didn't feel as good or rewarding as it has been before. Such is the changing dynamic of the team, though.

After I got back this weekend I did as I said I would before: crashed. It was great too. I don't think I've had 11 hours of non-stop sleep in a LONG time. It's just what I needed too. After being so busy, the downtime to chill out and tune into "The Housewhores" was what I needed. (Bree Van De Kamp is hilarious but utterly crazy.)

Today's page for Questionable Content is hilarious (either that, or Eastern Civilizations has invaded my mind--Buddha, haha!).

I've been in a hectic cycle with narrowing walls. All my time, motivation, and energy are being devoted to each thing in their own time with me pushing everything through the narrows walls where everything is slowed, congested, and nearly stalled. The narrowest point in the walls, of course, are this weekend's upcoming tournament. I'm not worried or nervous about the tournament, nor my homework or other items to take care of before I leave. I'm just exhausted. I've been so busy and totally wrapped around this cycle (going to classes early, lunch, work, class, homework that keeps me up into the late night; repeat) that I'm feeling like I need to crash.

I'm not saying I want things to stop or go in to some crazy hiatus. I just want to breakdown for a while and go of everything--actually have some leisure time. Time that I've wanted for the last two to three weeks, but haven't really gotten. I can't crash now, though. I have so much to do and so little time that it would be detrimental to attempt it. And, in truth, most of my friends are also in a similar cycle (one with an LSAT test coming up, one with work, and others with course work to keep them severely busy and borderline crazy), so I wouldn't (and will not) be able to hang with them too much.

I know I'll be able to crash soon enough, though. And when I do I plan on playing video games, watching television (and, yes, that includes watching Desperate Housewives. I can admit it. I like it, especially Eva Longoria!), and SLEEPING for hours on end in a cool darkened room without any interruptions or alarms.

Soon enough, soon enough!

Every one has one (or has had one) of them in their class. That one person who seems ever so inquisitive, so interested. Peaked by everything they hear and see, they yearn for more and, as such, ask questions incessantly.

Today's episode centers on my Abnormal Psychology class, which I have found fascinating over the last couple of weeks. Now that we are talking about mood disorders, specifically Bipolar I and Bipolar II, the class seems to be in full attendance with almost everyone enjoying themselves. Except for, of course, having to wake up and attend class during the early hours of the morning (i.e. anything before noon [seriously]). Class was excellent today. Not only did we watch a video of a diagnosed Bipolar I patient, but we also got to field many questions to our professor. Of which, QUESTION MAN, fielded the most. Not only did he not stop at three, but he went on to ask a record six questions during this class--much to our dismay.

Thank you QUESTION MAN, you make class so much fun by diverting from the original plan!

New episodes of Full Metal Alchemist are on Saturday nights again on Adult Swim!

Addiction continuing.

Girl 1: So this guy says "Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?" and I actually had to think about it, I mean--
Girl 2: What do you mean did they have belly buttons!?! Of course they did, they were human, right. So, they had to have had belly buttons!
Girl 1: Right...I thought that to, because, well, yeah, they're human. But then the professor goes on to say "Well, that's in integral question that many have asked about Adam and Eve. When God created them, did he give them belly buttons or were they created without? The world still questions and will never know."
Girl 2: OH YEAH! Because they weren't born of a woman so they wouldn't have belly buttons! I see. Yeah!
Girl 1: Yeah, that's so what I thought too!
Girl 2: Though, it's funny because I know this guy who doesn't have a belly button and it's like, so weird. I think he was born without it.
Girl 1: Uhm, (Girl 2's name), that's not possible.
Girl 2: Uh huh! It's not there. There's a, a kind of, er, indent in the skin; but there is no belly button.
Girl 1: Did you ever think that maybe he got it removed for some reason? Surgery or something?
Girl 2: Oh! Hmm, I didn't think about that. (laughs) Maybe he could be "Adam?"
Girl 1: Right...


Ah, the philosophical questions of life, paramount to every thing we think or do. Especially belly buttons.

After hours and hours of writing for weeks on end I FINALLY finished my Communication Analysis. It seriously shouldn't have taken so long, but I got lazy for a while and then, when school started, I started to focus on my other assignments in place of everything else (in speeches, that is). At least it is done now, though. Of course, there will be more speeches to write and more events to enter after the first tournament next week, but that will come in due time.

Aside from speeches, which, I'm sure most of you just love hearing about, I've been working on organizing the apartment. It's still slightly white trash, but it's coming along slowly. At least I got my storage shipment yesterday, so that has helped. I now have my pots, pans, plastic-ware and blender to boot. Now, if Brandon would pay for a microwave and some other items for the apartment, we'd be set. Though, I doubt the feasibility in all of this as he is extremely lazy and, well, fiscally irresponsible. Not that I'm complaining or ranting, but he need to grow up and become responsible.

For example, for the last four days my brother has driven MY car around because his car has had so many problems, I don't even know where to begin. Not only has he guzzled the gas that I paid for, but he has also been totally inconsiderate in regards to my time and schedule. He's made me drive him around on two separate occasions. Perhaps I'm being a stickler though?

All I really need for him to do, aside from be considerate and responsible, is PAY for things in this apartment since he has so far yet to do that at all. I'm being patient, but I'm not holding my breath.

I'm starting to think that my weekends are nothing but awash. I plan out what I'm going to do, but somehow I never meet my goals. This weekend in particular was disturbed by my brother who, on two occasions, decided that his schedule came before mine. Needless to say, whatever I was working on or planned to work on got thrown on the back burner so I could drop him off, pick him up, move my car, let him borrow my car, and buy things for him.

Honestly, my brother is a good guy, but at the age of 23 he apparently has not learned how to have concern for anyone else but himself. For all the time I lost this weekend, especially to these stupid excursions, he offered to "pay me back" in money as if it can simply make up for lost time or time not well spent.

Perhaps I'm getting to ranty, maybe even egotistical to some in thinking my time is worth so much. I know it's not. I'm just worried. I'm worried that with each passing minute I'm falling further and further behind with failure creeping up to consume me. My classes aren't the problem, though. I'm ahead in almost all of them. I'm just not where I should be or would like to be in my speeches. And that, my friends, is failure to me.

I don't think God is punishing me, but recently I have found it slightly odd that I've gotten sick so easily. It started with my departure from Germany to Idaho where I had a beyond mild (more like sickly severe) "bout" with food poisoning. After about two weeks, though, it cleared up and everything was going well again.

Or so I thought.

This weekend I managed to contract some weird throat and stomach attack on the immune system. I don't think it's bad, but when I was drinking water after having some green tea to soothe my throat, my stomach felt nauseous. So now I'm kind of afraid to eat or drink anything for fear it could be some crazy sickness or food poisoning similar to what I had before. Dear God, I hope not!

So far, I'm hoping that things will get better. It really is not the end of the world, but getting sick totally sucks. Hopefully it's just a mild one-to-two day cold.

UPDATE: I am now on the "TEA IV" as I like to call it. Basically it is as it sounds: drinking lots of "Lesbo" Lemon Zinger Tea to soothe the throat. Joy. At least it feels like it's all getting better.

Artist: The January Taxi
Song: The Hellos
Album: Keep Quiet, They Might Hear Us

You're one of a kind
You're special, be gone with you
I'm doing something else right now

Obviously we're just wasted and weak in the knees
The hellos, they hurt all the way down
Once in a while I like to look to the wild blue yonder and pray
You're not as lonely as the rest of us
We're going down, down, down

The emotional radio keeps changing its tune
but don't touch that dial cuz' its bound to come soon
The doors keep on swinging to new ways of dreaming
and I tried, I tried
but your element of surprise keeps on waking me up
for an unwanted goodbye

I'm one of a kind
I'm special, will you play with me?
Are you in something else right now?

I'll happily be just wasted and weak in the knees
The hellos, I feel them all the way down
All the way down

Although debate practice turned out to be almost an entire waste, with exception to the great Impromptu practice brought on by Lacey, today still managed to turn out to be a good day.

After practice was over, Chad, Lacey, and I decided to go to Quizno's because it sounded good. We each ate and talked about everything under the sun for about an hour when we were approached by one of the Vocalists from Darci Cash (You can hear their music by clicking this link). Her name was Ashley Powell, and she was totally cool. She said she approached us because we looked like the kind of people that listen to indie music and she was curious if we'd be interested in listening to their band. I know I wasn't going to pass up the chance to hear their music, so I obliged as did Lacey and Chad. While listening to their music, Ashley told us that she and the band had been traveling, where they had been, and all the cool and crazy things that go along with it. I kept thinking how cool but chaotic it must be to be in a band. She was an awesome person to chat with: confident, kind, and personable. What's even more cool is that they'll be back in Boise on November 1st performing at my college. Had I had money on me, I would've bought the CD but I hardly ever carry cash. I'm a debit/credit person. Lacey bought their CD though, and I'll buy one for sure at their show in Boise on our campus. They really do have a great sound. It's like Straylight Run meets Death Cab For Cutie. Rock out! I wish them the best of luck!

And if Ashley ever reads this, though I doubt she will, thanks for being so cool. It was nice meeting you. Good luck to you and the band, again!

Bush has moved to make Roberts succeed Rehnquist as Chief Justice.

It was announced earlier this evening that Chief Justice Rehnquist died battling thyroid cancer. Hence forth, another battle ensues on Capitol Hill, the battle for another Justice position. Whether or not this position is filled by a decent proper person largely depends on who Bush picks, even after nominating John Roberts in what already looks like a long way to the Supreme Court. I only hope that there is some hope for our Justice System in wake of this tragic news.

Also, my heart goes out to all the families and people affected by Hurricane Katrina. My prayers are with you all. I can't believe there are people still looting and killing people if they get in the way. How horrid humans can be to one another, especially during such a tragic event. I only wish there was more that I could do instead of donating money to the Red Cross. Donate to the Red Cross.

1. A good coffee maker for those morning classes where I drag ass in. This usually only happens on Tuesday and Thursday for some reason. I'm not sure why.
   
2. A dresser and some shelves. Currently my walk-in closet stores some of my stuff, but the rest of it is on the floor. I also need the dresser or some sort of sturdy surface to put my TV on.
   
3. More money. The job is good, but I could always use more money. More money means I can buy more things.
   
4. Some living room furniture. The living room is fairly white trash right now given the fact that we don't have any furniture in it, and we've contemplated using boxes and stealing milk crates to use for a table. (Though we haven't yet!)
   
5. Some Pots. Apparently my storage is going to take forever to get delivered to me, so it looks like it's time to buy some more pots. The wok isn't cutting it!
   

The classes, they are good. Yet, the workload is subtly starting to increase already. It's only week two and I have a two chapters of Abnormal Psychology, a chapter of Interpersonal Communication, Book I of the Illiad (The Quarrel of Akhilleus & Agamemnon) and Book XXII (The Death of Hektor), and 10 pages for Eastern Civilizations to read all by the end of this week. No slacking here!

Thankfully I'm ahead in my classes, just barely, but it looks like I'll have to keep pushing my way through all the reading and still balance my schedule for time to work on, yes, you guessed it, speeches of doom. Hey, I've pretty much got three events down though!

Aside from all that, though, I've also been busying writing a "Thank You" letter to my scholarship/grant/loan company who requires that I reply to them every year to make sure they know how thankful I am. Which, of course, I am! Without them, I wouldn't be able to pay for college and would have a hard time buying much anything else for college.

Random, but for those of you who haven't tried the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Jelly Beans, be forewarned! Dirt, Earthworm, Black Pepper, and Rotting Egg are totally disgusting. I had the unfortunate experience of eating all four of these in the car when it was dark. Why I did that, I don't know. Especially since I knew there were nasty flavors in the mix.

Thanks for the crazy laughs tonight, Chace. Dude, we seriously should patent that game. I think we'd be fucking billionares and hated by many people at the same time.

If only. Haha!

Holy fucking shit! I know now that I have seen the funniest movie out there to date. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. RIGHT NOW!

Seriously, it's the movie of the year. This is the one you must see. Screw all those lame dramas and "epic-sagas," this is the most comedic movie out there. This is the kind of movie you go out to see and laugh at and with from beginning to end. I was laughing almost the entire time, and the friendly "interactive" audience made it even better!

So, yes, drop everything you are doing. Make it date. It doesn't matter when. Go! See this movie! It's worth every penny of the $8.25 for admission.

I forgot to post this sooner!

Jack's Mannequin's Everything In Transit came out on Tuesday of this week. If you haven't bought your CD yet, you should! Rock out!

If you haven't heard of Jack's Mannequin, click here to hear it out.

I saw a guy reading "Atlas Shrugged" today at Starbucks and I couldn't help but wonder if he was reading it leisurely, for a class, for the scholarship application, or just to appear as a pretentious asshole.

Lacey you know what I mean! :D

I don't know what it is exactly, but lately I've been depressed. I think this whole apartment is the cause, but I'm not quite sure. I'm not depressed in the way that I'd need to see a psychologist, but rather, depressed that I'm always alone.

I know I wanted to live alone in a one-bedroom apartment last year, but due to housing being the fuck job that it is, I didn't get it and have this apartment instead. However, because it's a two-bedroom and my brother is supposed to live here, I guess I just expect someone to be around. There isn't though. It's just me in this apartment all the time. Alone.

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't expect someone to be here, if I knew that I would always be alone here. This, of course, accompanied by the fact that last year I don't think I did many things alone. It must be a lesson in learning yet again, the kind that teaches you something you didn't know about yourself before or where you learn to have a new quality about yourself. Right now I'm not sure which of those two it is, but I know either way I'm still alone in the end.

What a way to start the year.

Carrie, Sis, I applaud your inner strength, strong will and faith throughout your father's tragic ordeal with cancer. May he rest in peace.

My condolences to you and your family.

Keep your strength and the attitude about life that you've gained from this close to your heart, as I know you will. I miss you and I hope that all is well. I will be in touch.

Cashier: (cheery) How are you today?
Mother: Splendid! Only one more week until freedom!
Cashier: Oh?
Mother: School starts up for [her kids' school] in a week. Freedom.
Child 1: Yeah, for you.
Child 2: Not until you hear about me being in detention.
Mother: Oh Stop! Enough of that!

Kind of reminds me of my mother when I was in elementary school. Hmm.

I'm not entirely sure where to begin upon my arrival back into Idaho. Perhaps I should start with my in-flight terror of being sick on both flights back. Or maybe it would just be best to skip ahead a few days and say that after going to the emergency room with Lacey and her mother in what I can now declare the "creepiest roommate moment" to date, I'm doing MUCH better. Seriously, that's all you need to know. You don't want to know all the details. Besides, I'm not dooce. I would divulge these things, but eh, I don't want to type them up and you would be grossed out after you read it all anyway. Consider yourself saved!

Anyway, I'm now in the two-bedroom apartment with my brother. After a deal, I ended up getting the big room. The deal being that, if and when we break the lease and move out of here, Brandon will get the master bedroom in the house and I'll get the other room. I know. I'm getting the short end of the deal in the long run, but honestly, I don't think we'll be getting that house anytime soon. I'm not so worried.

These last two days, I've been slowly buying things to furnish the apartment with. Unlike last year, where the apartment was fully furnished, Brandon and I have to furnish this apartment. So far, I've bought a desk, bookshelf, desk chair, plate set, and other house items. Thankfully I haven't spent that much money on all of these items either! I was worried that things would be expensive and would rack up a bill that I couldn't handle for the apartment, but that hasn't been the case at all. I've found some great sales on items and that's how I got this new swanky desk which I'm typing on! Before which, of course, I could've gotten on the computer and typed away but I have issues with sitting on the floor and typing. Don't ask.

Oh! I'm happy to report that I got the job that fits PERFECTLY into my schedule. It's a cake job, but hey, that cake job is helping to pay the bills! The interview went amazingly well. Again, I can't thank Nancy enough for her help! Nancy, you rock the fscking cazba! So, yeah, I'll be working that job and paying for things with the money I get from it.

Other than that, I'm getting ready for school here. Classes start on Monday, a week earlier than they did last year. I'm not complaining though. We get out for winter break for A WHOLE MONTH because of that extra week AND we get A WHOLE WEEK for Thanksgiving. I know, you're probably like...so? Well, the thing is, we haven't either of those for the last two years since I've started, so it's a big deal to finally get more break. I know too many people that get more break than me at college and this is just payback. Haha!

I'm out for the night. I have a funny "Overheard at..." to post, but I'll do it later. Thanks for the comments and well wishes! I've missed the blogging world while I've been away.


Also, I'd like to extend my MILLIONS of thanks to Lacey and her family. I owe them so much. Although, the emergency room was...well, it was what it was. I'm thankful that I was with you guys and that you took care of me. It really means the world to me to know that I have such good friends that I can depend on who I know love and care for me. Thanks!

Have you ever had that feeling like you've been in a coma and just woken up from it? Everything around seems to have passed by, but it hasn't been experienced or felt in effect because you weren't part of it. The only effect noticeable is time. The only constant.

In many ways I feel that my summer has been the epitome of this. I've done work, helped out, given my time, and an assortment of other things in these moments. Yet, none of seems significant, at least, not right now. I feel like this summer has been a blur--things have passed by so quickly and I haven't felt everything as I have before.

Perhaps it is a change in me. A sign of maturity coming to light.
Perhaps not.

Maybe it's the effects of an un-engaging summer finally taking their toll. I don't know. I wish I knew.

Tomorrow I'm boarding the plane to return to Idaho for another year. I'm ready, but I'm anxious. I have no idea what to expect, but that's nothing new. With everything as up in the air as it has been, I know to wait to cross the bridges. No doubt, things have changed as they always do. I hope, however, that in the wake of the changes, the shock won't get to me.

Currently Feeling: "I'm Ready" by Jack's Mannequin from "Everything in Transit."


[And today was a day just like any other]

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge
Unraveling with every word
With every word you say, make me believe
That I won't feel your tires on the street
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

I come undone, oh yes, I do
Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you
And every word you say, say something sweet
Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

Well I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop, Keep pushing
I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call

I am aware, I've been misled
I disconnect my heart, my head
Don't wanna recognize when things go bad
The things that you'll accept
Except that I am finding the words... to say

I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh oh oh oh oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop

[I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use:
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there's fog on the windows.
(And I'm Fighting the words...)
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
(And you're getting away...)
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.]

Well, I'm ready, to drop, well, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop, oh
Well, keep pushing, I'm ready to fall
Well, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't call
I'm ready so don't call, oh... oh... oh...

I have been informed by housing, finally, that they have an apartment for my brother and me to live in. Finally, another cloudy situation cleared up. Except, now that I have accepted the apartment, it means we'll have to go out and look around for cheap furniture to furnish the place. One situation begets another, and that's why there are places to find used furniture for cheap. And, of course, WalMart. (I know, it's evil. It's also cheap.)

At least I don't have to worry about it anymore. It was horribly taxing to have to think about where to live if the housing didn't go through. I think I would've been living on a friend's floor for a while until things got settled or maybe in my car, down by the river. The latter of the two, of course, less likely. Still, my car could've worked if need be. It's just really ghetto looking right now because of all the junk in the backseat and trunk. It also would've been hard to sleep in with all that junk. Hmm. Yeah, I'm glad everything is good to go for now. Seriously, though, Chris Farley would've had nothing on me because, at least, he was in a van. That has got to have more room than my piece of shit car.

Yes! I got a message back from one of my applications to set up an interview. Finally, some good news in the job search! So, I have an interview on Monday the 15th of August at 1 p.m. That's right, I'm writing it on here so I can remember. Haha! (It's also in my day runner and set as a reminder in my e-mail inbox.) Hopefully, when I go back, all will go well with the interview and I'll land the job. It's the one job that I know fits PERFECTLY into my schedule, pending, of course, my debate tournament schedule. Hopefully the tournament schedule won't be a big issue.

Again, thanks go out to Nancy the AMAZING who has helped me out immensely with the job search! I seriously can't thank you enough!

Job-process aside, I've been working on the speeches still. I was certain I would be done with this one speech by now, but apparently I don't know my history well. Or rather, the history I knew about the Kennedy, Nixon, and Carter administrations wasn't what I remember reading about in high school. As such, I've been back-tracking my information on their administrations in order to properly document their stances on various issues as they fit into my speech. It also doesn't help that one of my major sources is inaccessible. Damn them! How convenient a time too. Alas, I must press on.

Update: Housing still doesn't know where I'm living. That's great.

Today is the four year anniversary of one of the webcomics I've been reading for the last two years.

Although it might not look like it has been around for four years, it actually has been. (Hans Tseng has apparently re-written and re-drawn the story three or four times, from what I was last told.) Regardless, it is an excellent webcomic. If for nothing else, check out Hans Tseng's amazing drawing skills.

Check it out if you have the time.

First and foremost, I must convey my many thanks to Nancy for helping me find jobs on-campus as I was unable to find any during my searches. At least, when I searched, I found jobs that I couldn't apply for because there were numerous dates that I needed to attend for orientation and I wouldn't be back in Idaho in time or they required work-study which I do not have. Thanks a billion, Nancy! You rock! :D

I recently applied to two three jobs online via our school's job finder. All of them have potential to be my next job, fitting very nicely into my schedule. Although the wage for both isn't amazing, it's good enough money to help me out throughout the year. So, hopefully I'll get one of them.

Recently, Veneliza and I decided to come together and "explore, restore, and enhance" our fleeting Japanese skills by creating Paper Note. For those of you that knew, this will take the place of my old project-blog "Japanese Lessons" as Veneliza and I will both tackle it together. (Kind of reminds me of our summer job two years back as webmasters where we schooled our boss in the l337 skillz of true <HTML> coding and webpage and graphic design. Ah the good ol' days! Fun times, really!) This way both of us benefit and we can potentially help others! Yay for being free-for-service "blog-whores" who know some Japanese! Now we can teach. Sort of.

I need to review my hiragana, katakana, kanji and basic verb conjugations. Wow! Professor Douchebag really messed up my Japanese skills.

I'm happy to report that I'm really moving along now, finally. I don't know what exactly it was that stalled me for so long, but it is not in the way anymore. At least, for this speech.

In other news, my brother went to look at houses with an agent on Saturday and it looks like I might be living off campus this year. The houses he looked at are within our shared price range and aren't too far from campus. I'd have to drive to and from campus everyday, but it wouldn't be a long drive if we get one in the area we've previously discussed. If not, then I might just be living on campus once again. Though, all of this is still up in the air.

With only 12 days left, I'm ready to go back (except for my speeches) and start up another year. A year of learning, laughter, competition, good and bad. Yet, I'm anxious about going back. I'm anxious because, even though I've only been away for a few months, I feel like I've been away from everything for a long time. Like I've lost touch, even though I know I haven't. It's not like I've been gone for ages. It just feels like it has been longer than the last time around. Perhaps it's my mind getting the better of me--thinking that things are so different. Yet, things aren't that different. At least, not so much so that I can't handle it.

For now, though, I wait. There is time enough to do the things I need to do and time enough for everything to get figured out as this school year approaches. Everything in its time and in its place.

I think I might be on the right track now, finally. There is a way to spin this speech into a well sung story and I have my brother to thank for his advice. Now, it's time to put all this talk into fruition and get it done.

If you wanna spin
Get yourself back in the game again
Throw down your money
Maybe you could win
But this world won't stop
So never stop, just spin

I'm updating the blog a day early as I won't have much time to do so tomorrow. Granted, updating doesn't take too much time, but I'd rather not worry about doing it tomorrow when I already have a multitude of things to take care of.

Yeah, still busy!

I'll be back to discussions and ramblings soon enough!

Hope you like the new masthead and color scheme. The lines are lyrics from, you guessed it, Jack's Mannequin's song "I'm Ready." The JM album Everything in Transit is available for pre-order on both the JM store and on Amazon, or you can wait until August 23rd and buy it at a store near you. You can click the link on the lower right side of my blog to hear some of the tunes if you haven't heard JM before. (Yeah, I know, I'm just plugging away for JM!)

Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think.

I've been working on the next design for the blog which will be posted on August 1st. Just the usual changes: the masthead, and the colors. Though, I have to admit, I borrowed my color ideas from megatokyo. I know you will all say it's not original to copy colors, but I didn't completely leech the color scheme on that site. Besides, the scheme looks damn good with the next masthead. You will see soon enough.

Other than that, not much else is going on. I think I'm going to take a break from the blog until August 1st, unless, of course, something important comes up between now and then. I need to turn off the internet (except for citing material), game systems, and television; so that I can focus on important items that need to be finished before I leave here.

E-mail is still ok though! I'll respond as soon as I can when I get them.

My ticket for flying back to Idaho should already have been purchased. I wonder when I'll be getting back now.

I know now.

I know it's going to sound incredibly lame and utterly childish, but during my mini-break from blogging and everything else I found Harvest Moon (HM) and started playing my life away. At least, for the last two days.

I don't even know how it happened to be honest. I was working on speeches, researching, typing up a few things, formulating, citing. The basic processes of writing: you name it, I was streaming right along. Grudgingly so, I might add. (Still, I was getting things done.)

Then it happened. I must have stumbled upon it by mistake, by chance? Dare I say fate? (Certainly not! Haha!) I took a break to look at Guild Wars as a potential buy for entertainment and stress relief at college (honestly!), when I ended up looking through various games and found an old favorite.

For those of you not familiar with this game, which I'll take will be almost all of you (out of no fault of your own because it's so nerdy!), it's a Farmer Life Simulation/Strategy game. Nerdy. The main character is a farmer who inherits a farm from his deceased grandfather. With the farm comes responsibilities should you choose to expand the farm and garner a profit. You can farm plants (tomatoes, watermelon, turnips, etc.), ranch animals (cows, chickens, sheep), and much more. It's even a dating simulator. And I'd like to point out right now that that is NOT why I enjoy it so much, contrary to what any of you might think. I'm not desperate for that kind of love! Anyway, back to dating. In all Harvest Moon games you have a slew of potential wives (or in the two female versions that have only been released in Japan, husbands). In the old one I played on the Nintendo 64 you had five to choose from. You have to woo them by giving them gifts and talking to them, so it's no easy ride. Eventually, after you get married, you can have a kid and continue the legacy.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. It's totally nerdcore, but I think that's why I like it. It's completely different from the collection of RPGs I have.

Regardless, I ended up reading about the new HM that is being released in the US tomorrow and found links off the page that led me to an older version of HM (HM:A Wonderful Life) for the Gamecube. And while I don't own a Gamecube, my sister does. So, after reading up on the game and completely dropping any speech work, I decided I'd buy the game as soon as I could. And I did.

That was Saturday afternoon. It's now Monday evening and, while I haven't been playing the game straight since then, I've played it for hours on end. Only now have I taken an extended break to check up on my e-mails and my blog. I have, of course, showered, eaten meals, and the usual in between that time even though some of you may doubt that!

All I can say is, the break from speeches has been good. I managed to create a farm, fund it, buy cows, bring in money, woo a girl, get married, start a family, and have a kid...all in roughly 8 hours time. Now, if only I could apply those mad skills to my speeches. Shit! I'd be set.

When friends of our family left on emergency leave to visit their family in the states, they dropped off their dog for us to dog-sit. He's a peekapoo named Rez, and he's been good for the most part. Though, he often thinks he needs to go out on hourly intervals.