Better By Nightfall

Have you ever had that feeling like you've been in a coma and just woken up from it? Everything around seems to have passed by, but it hasn't been experienced or felt in effect because you weren't part of it. The only effect noticeable is time. The only constant.

In many ways I feel that my summer has been the epitome of this. I've done work, helped out, given my time, and an assortment of other things in these moments. Yet, none of seems significant, at least, not right now. I feel like this summer has been a blur--things have passed by so quickly and I haven't felt everything as I have before.

Perhaps it is a change in me. A sign of maturity coming to light.
Perhaps not.

Maybe it's the effects of an un-engaging summer finally taking their toll. I don't know. I wish I knew.

Tomorrow I'm boarding the plane to return to Idaho for another year. I'm ready, but I'm anxious. I have no idea what to expect, but that's nothing new. With everything as up in the air as it has been, I know to wait to cross the bridges. No doubt, things have changed as they always do. I hope, however, that in the wake of the changes, the shock won't get to me.

Currently Feeling: "I'm Ready" by Jack's Mannequin from "Everything in Transit."


[And today was a day just like any other]

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge
Unraveling with every word
With every word you say, make me believe
That I won't feel your tires on the street
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

I come undone, oh yes, I do
Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you
And every word you say, say something sweet
Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

Well I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop, Keep pushing
I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call

I am aware, I've been misled
I disconnect my heart, my head
Don't wanna recognize when things go bad
The things that you'll accept
Except that I am finding the words... to say

I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh oh oh oh oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop

[I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use:
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there's fog on the windows.
(And I'm Fighting the words...)
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
(And you're getting away...)
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.]

Well, I'm ready, to drop, well, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop, oh
Well, keep pushing, I'm ready to fall
Well, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't call
I'm ready so don't call, oh... oh... oh...