Monday, August 22, 2005

I don't know what it is exactly, but lately I've been depressed. I think this whole apartment is the cause, but I'm not quite sure. I'm not depressed in the way that I'd need to see a psychologist, but rather, depressed that I'm always alone.

I know I wanted to live alone in a one-bedroom apartment last year, but due to housing being the fuck job that it is, I didn't get it and have this apartment instead. However, because it's a two-bedroom and my brother is supposed to live here, I guess I just expect someone to be around. There isn't though. It's just me in this apartment all the time. Alone.

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't expect someone to be here, if I knew that I would always be alone here. This, of course, accompanied by the fact that last year I don't think I did many things alone. It must be a lesson in learning yet again, the kind that teaches you something you didn't know about yourself before or where you learn to have a new quality about yourself. Right now I'm not sure which of those two it is, but I know either way I'm still alone in the end.

What a way to start the year.

4 comments:

magnetic_poet said...

Wayney, don't be sad :-( Once school and debate starts you'll be so busy you'll enjoy the peace and quiet in the few, rare moments you're at home! PS -- I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY finished my Europe scrapbook. It's GREAT! I have to show you how I scrapped all the fun we had in Munich and Berlin :-)

Bree said...

NANCY! I want to see your scrapbook, oh-scrapbooking goddess of the western hemisphere!

Hey Kid! I don't live *that* far away...okay, yeah I do. But I'm always there in spirit!

Every time you catch the sound of Real McCoy on the radio, I'll be there. In the long lines at WinCo, I'm just running for more Jarritos Mandarin soda. In that empty room, I'm practicing speeches and screaming about being Cuban. The Creepy Roommate lives on, all around you!

LOL! Okay, if that didn't make you laugh (or at least roll your eyes) we're in trouble. ;)

Love ya tons! See you in class.

Thister said...

Thanks! I'm sure things will get better it is just kind of sad that there isn't anyone here to talk to. I guess that's been the hardest part so far, adjusting to the fact that I'm alone here and can only talk to people via IM, the phone, or in class. It's just not the same. I'm getting over it though.

bardot said...

yeah, it'll get better once the school year starts. i don't know how your study habits are, but it's nice to be able to study alone. you could always have study groups are your place, right??

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