Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I must admit that things haven't been so good these past few days. They haven't been horrible or earth-shattering, but they have been annoying and generally bad. I was saying that everything was "half-good" for awhile though, so at least I was being optimistic until today. Most of this started after being in Oklahoma when I was basically irksome and tireless, waiting to return to college after a not so challenging tournament. After I got back, it was like being thrown back into school full force. There was no break time, no time to "self-situate." This phase usually involves either "recovery time" for lost hours of sleep (which thereby means ignoring the world for multiple hours at a given time) and/or playing video games and watching TV like a raging fat ass (in which, I stay locked up in my room only to come out to eat, drink, and use the bathroom). Granted, this wasn't the first time that I wasn't able to "self-situate," so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. After all, it wasn't problematic last year when, after returning to Idaho as Spring Break began, I was driven back to the airport eight hours later to fly to South Dakota and visit the grandparents.This time, however, I realize that I was mistaken.
Returning in full swing has, by no means, been the death of me. It has, however, been difficult, especially when many other things seem to have started caving in around me. Grades, for example, haven't suffered but they've taken a nice hit I'm sure. After tests and papers, I'm sure they're what anyone would say is great. And they are, really. I want them to be better though. Aside from grades there have been plenty of little things that have happened to make things not so good. Recently I found out that my good ol' debate partner and dear friend, Hillary, is officially quitting the team at the end of the semester. This was somewhat expected, of course, especially since she's been hearing wedding bells since Jonathan (her missionary boyfriend) returned. I know this sounds incredibly odd, but in the debate world a partnership is almost like a marriage or a really close friendship. When you leave or your partner leaves, then, it's basically like a divorce (seriously!). Granted, you don't have to divide the assets or go to court about who gets to keep the kids (I guess trophies would be like kids though?), but it is still a bit tumultuous, especially since Hillary and I were amazing together. As such, I've had to obtain a new partner who is, as Lacey says, "green." I'm not sure that's a term I would use myself though. He's intelligent and has decent experience, but he isn't up to par with Parli just yet. Combine that with the fact that we, as debate partners for the next tournament once again, have a great deal to figure out in terms of style and content compatibility. Needless to say, that's been more than slightly rocky. Yet, as I've been reminded by numerous people, they have the potential to get better (doesn't everything though?).

To add to this string of grief (yes, there is more), my appointment time for signing up for classes for the spring was during work hours. Which I originally thought would not be a problem, but it soon became one. Although the testing lab was nearly empty when I signed in to sign up for classes, the door slowly filled with students. There must have been at least ten students I had to sign in which, in turn, took away from time to sign up for courses. What's worse is that I was unable to get the Communication courses I wanted as they were entirely full. I was lucky enough to get the history courses that I wanted to take, though. Still, getting those classes is not consolation as I intended to get them anyway.

Next, after buying a brand new microwave and coffeemaker yesterday evening, I come to find that the coffeemaker doesn't work at all. This after I've woken up earlier than usual to make sure I'll have a nice cup of coffee before class. Yeah, nice to drag ass through class on an already gloomy day. And since I didn't get my coffee this morning, I decided that it was beyond essential to go to Starbucks and buy at least a grande in order to compensate for my loss. After obtaining the coffee, however, it was great to have a good fourth of it spill on my new jacket and singe my hand as I crossed the street on my way to work.
So, here I am at work typing an entry incognito through my e-mail account just thrilled at the potential prospects that today has yet to bring my way. Which, of course, are certain to be uplifting and enriching to my life as everything else in the past week seems to have been.
And still, I'm learning some lessons. The primary one being that I'm starting to see that I need downtime, break time, any time for me time as the time passes. Of course, the notion of the cyclical nature of things biting you in the ass is obviously prevalent as well. Perhaps the most interesting lesson, though, is that of movement and motion. I still keep moving even though all of these things have been "half-good," mainly because there is no stopping, but also because there is no point to sitting and waiting.


carebear said...

oo wayne, i am sorry to hear/read of all of your troubles...makes me want to give you a huge hug or many hugs! cuz you know i have many of those to offer.

Bree said...

I thought we established that things were three-quarter good! ;)


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