Better By Nightfall

Give it up, give it up
Don't fall the same things
Give it up, give it up
Don't fall for mistakes that I've made
Don't turn away...
Give It Up--Midtown

No, I wasn't shitting you about the IBS, but that's beside the point. I don't think I did well on my Calculus test. In fact, I think I bombed it.

It wasn't that it was hard or that I didn't know what I was doing, because it wasn't hard and I did know what I was doing. It's that it was weird. The first problem was similar to what she noted on the board in review, but it differed a lot more than I expected it too. So much so that I ended up having a hard time finding the roots of the equation, only to find that the first part of the equation had imaginary roots which meant that it couldn't be a real function. Since I couldn't do the first problem well, which was required in order to get the second, I'm sure I bombed 2/3's of the test. As for the third problem, well, it's probably my only saving grace if I did it right. Give it up. If not, I might as well kiss that "A" I wanted way the fuck goodbye because there is no way in hell I can ever get it back if I bombed this. Give it up.

I need to let it go, give it up. It's not anything to worry about really anyway. It's just that I wanted an "A" in Calculus if I could get it, because I knew I could get it if I studied and gave it my all. Give it up. Funny how that desire is looking very much so unattainable now. Give it up.

To add to it, I feel like other things I want are just as unattainable. Give it up. We nominated officers for debate today and I was nominated for a position, but I'm starting to think it'd be better to let it go. What's the point of trying for something when you know you won't get it? Give it up. I probably have a good chance, but if it is like it was last year at this time, I might as well give it up.

It's important to me, but it's not worth it to get my hopes up only to have them crushed. That's what happened last year. Give it up. That's what will happen this time around given the situation at hand.

And all the while it leaves me questioning if I want to even be part of it at all. It's so ridiculous. Give it up. It's a game. It's a power struggle. Pitted between friends and teammates. It's not worth it. Give it up.

Give it up, give it up
Don't fall for the same things...

Couldn't have said it better.