Better By Nightfall

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Just hold me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
--Bent :: Matchbox 20

Returning from Nationals and Spring Break (at least the little break that it was) has been interesting and more difficult than I thought it would be. After our success at Nationals, debate-related items have become the central focus of the week with rounds of catch-up homework and learning in second, and freaking the fuck out in third. Everything seems rushed and hurried. Fast-paced.

I'm just having a hard time reintegrating into the system after being away for nearly two weeks. It's never been this hard before, but the scenario was never quite the same as it is now either. On one side I'm glad that I'm busy and rushed because it keeps me going. On the other side, though, I'm upset that I can't be on my own to just relax and take a breather. It's getting to the point that I feel like I'm finishing one thing only to take on another, and another, and another...and it doesn't end.

I feel smothered. I feel broken.

I need a break from it all. I need time away from all of it. Time where I am just alone, away from everything except myself and my thoughts. Time to relax physically and mentally.

But with things going the way they are right now I don't think what I want is going to happen anytime soon. (And I don't think the "What the Fuck!" and "Holy Shit!" sessions are going to end until I get that time either.)