Better By Nightfall

I'm sure most of you out there that frequent my blog or know me in person can attest to the fact that I'm a person juxtaposed between an uptight persona and a relaxed persona. Type A to Type B. (Does that make me a Type C?) On one hand I'm easy going, gregarious, yet collected. On the other hand, I'm serious, shrewd, and methodical. I think most people are an amalgamation of elements similar in gradation. Indeed, everyone has their own quirks. One of my quirks this year, as many of you have probably noticed and as I noted back in January of last year, was that I tend to take things (debate, etc.) too seriously.

Well, I can finally say that I am aberrant to my preconceived, dare I say, natural disposition. At least for today.

Today (Monday) was the beginning of finals on campus and the day my best friend departed to Europe. I didn't have a single final today, but I did have to work. Originally I thought this wouldn't be a big deal. After all, last semester I worked during finals week and I pulled through perfectly fine. This semester has been different though. In addition to having abnormal pains throughout my body (mostly in my intestine, sides, and, as of late, my lungs [I don't smoke!]), I have had so many other issues to deal with. Growing pains, perhaps?

Regardless, today deviated from the normal. I went to work only to find that the power went out in our building which meant that I couldn't perform my job. Instead of freaking out and cracking under the pressure of dealing with upset students, I just laughed (probably much to the chagrin of the people waiting around to take their tests). How ironic is it that on the first day of finals numerous buildings across campus were down, though? I don't know, but I do know that I handled myself well. While people were freaking out all around me, I just sat in my chair telling them to stay calm, to relax and laugh about it.

And it occurred to me then, though I've known it all along, that life is about learning to laugh at the things that seem to go wrong, fall apart, and fail around you at any given time. Everything isn't meant to work perfectly. Especially not technology! And, hey, it's alright to shed a tear or two every now and then if you need to. There is, however, no use in worrying your life away over things so small that they will fade in time or won't matter in the long run. There is no reason to beat yourself into the ground over things that you cannot control. And there certainly is no loss in failure, especially when there is time for "a hundred visions and revisions before the taking of a toast and tea...for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse." (T.S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. Probably my favorite poem of all time.)

After all, that's life.