Wednesday, January 19, 2005

A good friend from high school, two years my senior and obviously in college, once told me that "dating in college is probably one of the most intriguing phenomenon known to young adults...basically because everyone is either immature, horny, weird, or a combination of those three...and if you have your V-card you're less likely to be seen as 'fresh meat' or 'a piece of ass' and more likely to be seen as 'lonely and desperate' because you're either not attractive or you aren't flaunting it enough."

Well, I know I'm not flaunting anything for obvious reasons, but the fact that I can't seem to incur anyone but cucumber-loving boot-knocking bimbos, internet stalkers that think my use of diction is sexy, and debate-groupies that seem to think I want to talk about my epistemological stance on life kind of makes me think that I have a hidden freak-radar that emits to those from the far reaches of sanity or, perhaps, something is wrong with me. Now, I'm not asking for pity or appraisal about my modular body and good looks that I don't have, but rather, I find it interesting that besides my strange encounters of the absurd kind I can't really say that there have been any takers here. Not that it is a bad thing, it isn't. It's not like it is important or dire either, after all no one ever died from not having a relationship--at least, that's what Road Rules: Semester at Sea led me to believe.

Still, I'm starting to think that ultimately, outside my circle of close friends, I'm not supposed to have an close relationship (a.k.a. girlfriend) at college. Unless, as a debate team-member brought to my attention, I lower my standards. I could certainly do that if I wanted to pick up one of the aforementioned girls that I seem to attract, but they're not what I want. And, before I hear about it in the comments, I don't think I'm that picky. I think it just boils down to the fact that I'm kind of nerdy and not so muscular, and those always mean lower scores on (No, I do not partake in that online slut-feast. I did once for fun, but it was weird and I quit soon after. 7.9, in case you were wondering.)

Eh. Perhaps I'm better off not dating. I mean, porn is free right. Ha ha! Just kidding! Seriously, though, if I was I don't know if I'd be happier than I am right now with everything going on in my life. Furthermore, if I were dating god only knows if it would be with some crazy IdaHOan who had been secretly stalking me for the last year.

Until then, I'll just continue to walk with my head held high and the V-card sign glaringly visible on my back--not signaling to pick me, but rather, to ignore me.


Zucchini said...

I <3 cucumbers. XD!

Thister said...

Hahah! I like them too, just not the way that she likes them. :P

Bree said...

Mainly because she luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuves cucumbers...

Must be an Albie's thing. Socks, cucumbers, ziploc bags? *shudder*

"Just remember: you were a mistake, so it's your responsibility to make sure other mistakes like you don't happen." XD

Anonymous said...

Have you considered an inflatable significant other? Lois, the blow up lover that I'm cheating on my girlfriend with, never gets angry, yells, cries, or expresses... really any emotion at all- and what's even greater about her, is the fact that she is very open with her sexuality-... But of course, her and I are limited to the warmth of only three holes.

SHE'S A BEAUT! My best spent 25 dollars!


...P.S. On sad days, remember two things: Plastic makes things possible, and is always easy to clean!

Thister said...

Fuck dude! HAHAH! Now that's hilarious! :D

I always wondered what else they were trying to imply by those "plastic makes things possible" commercials, and now I know.

Hmm. Under consideration. Hahahah!

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