Better By Nightfall

This is totally random, but it's been annoying me this whole week. I can't get my left eye to stop twitching. I thought with adequate sleep and relaxation it would go away, but to no avail. Instead, it seems, it has entered ultra "let me fuck with your face" spasm-mode.

Any remedies? Ideas?

Rock out! It's about time that Marten got some action! Now we wait and see where things go from here.

Choose a band / artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs:

1. Name of band/artist:
Jason Mraz

2. Are you male or female:
"Mr. Curiosity"

3. Describe yourself:
"Geek In The Pink"

4. How do you feel about yourself:
"Curbside Prophet"

5. Describe your ex boyfriend / girlfriend:
"You and I Both"

6. Describe current boyfriend / girlfriend:
"O Lover"

7. Describe where you want to be:
"Sleep All Day"

8. Describe how you live:
"The Remedy (I Won't Worry)"

9. Describe how you love:
"Shy That Way (with Tristan Prettyman)"

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish:
"I'll Do Anything"

11. Share a few words of Wisdom:
"Life Is Wonderful"

12. Now say goodbye:
"Did You Get My Message?"

The tests weren't so bad. Yeah. Big shocker! I think the stress of studying for them both when they seemed so heavy a task is what got to me the most. I mean, they were a bit of challenge, but nothing that I know I could not handle. Maybe I'm just insecure with my intelligence?

The truth is that while working on things in general this semester stress has been nagging at me incessantly. It's always there, but before big projects or assignments or tests is when I feel it burn the most. Pre-performance jitters? Hardly (and let's not go into any extensions or connotations off that! I know what you're thinking!) Though, I have been told that I should try Zen Breathing, Yoga, and some...other ways...of relieving stress. I know, however, that it has more to do with how I've constructed this semester in my mind. I've told myself that it is hard and that it is all upper-division; that I have to be serious and not screw around; that I have to be devoted mainly to my studies. And, yeah, I'm right in thinking that, except that it's not entirely accurate. This semester, the classes I picked and the way they are, only have as much power over me as I let them. If I know I am capable and intelligent enough, then none of this should be a problem good or bad across the board. It's about movement and momentum. I can't stop the movement, but I can put in the momentum with as much potential as possible and achieve great things. There is no question about that, and that's exactly what I need to keep in mind.

Since my first semester in college I've come to the conclusion that midterms are the trial time period where your test determine whether or not you'll continue the class for the rest of the semester or withdraw and receive a "W." While I have never withdrawn from a class this late in the game, I have found myself wondering if I should withdraw from a certain class. I could, but then I'd either have to retake it or just leave it as a "W."

I think the stress of the tests is just getting to me, though. I feel confident that I'll do fairly well, I just don't know how good that "well" will be. While studying last night I had Vivaldi on repeat because I've been informed that his music has been proven to help increase memorization. I certainly hope that's the case for me! I've had a hard time memorizing dates and key aspects for my Southeast Asian History class. Regardless, I'm going to jump into these two tests today and see where they take me. If all else fails, well, that's what the fail-safe of a "W" is for.

• I've been listening to The All American Rejects' new CD a lot lately. I'm not sure why, but I keep replaying all the songs. I especially like "It Ends Tonight" and "Move Along."
  
  
• I've been procrastinating a lot lately. I think I've lost some of my momentum since we left to ASU and came back. The disruption in my courses has left me feeling a bit lethargic. That, and being sick hasn't helped.
  
  
• On the plus side, I got an A+ on my first book report for one of my history classes. A total shocker. I knew I wrote it well, but I didn't think I did it to my professor's standards. Turning it in, I remember thinking If I get a C or a B I'll just take it as it is and then work harder on the next one. Turns out I wrote very well. Now, I just need to keep the rest of my papers up to par with this standard.
  
  
• I've been selling stuff on ebay to make monies. Apparently the manga that I do own isn't worth much. We're talking a total of 18 dollars for four comic books that originally cost me 42 dollars. Lame. At least it's better than no money at all.
  
  
• I've been forced into thinking about next year when I don't know what I want or where I'll be then. It's hard to think about it and not let it be a big problem in conjunction with everything else that is going on.
  
  
• Amber Pacific and The Spill Canvas are coming here. I hope I'll get to see them, but work conflicts with the concert time. I've been a pretty big fan of Amber Pacific since last year and since November I've been listening to The Spill Canvas. It'd be a shame not to get to see them since they'll probably won't be here again anytime soon.
  

I know, I know. You're probably thinking Hey, wait, didn't he say he was going to do a different masthead with different colors? Different lyrics? Something from another band that doesn't have Andrew McMahon in it!?! And the truth is, you're right to think so. After all, I promised I would do something different.

But I didn't.

I did change the colors to ones I haven't used before and lyrics I haven't used before. However, the image is one I have used before. I feel it's the only one that speaks for me right now. Combined with the lyrics, it displays my thoughts best. I can't think of any other quote or lyric that describes how I feel about everything as well as this one does. Everyday when I wake up I think it is a day like any other. There are things I can control. There are things I cannot control. For those things I cannot control all I do is watch the sky and heed the weather patterns.

I think I'll stick with this theme for a long time now. The colors might change a little, but I'm certain that this is the masthead and lyrics that describe me and this blog best. Though, I have to admit that the monthly changes were fun. I might do them again from time to time, just not any time soon. Enjoy!

(Flickr friends, there are more photos if you are signed in.)
The tournament went well, but I have to admit that it was one of the more difficult debate tournaments I've been to in my debate career. I only broke in one speech event, and I got 6th place in it. That's damn good considering the stiff competition, though. Other than that, our team took first in overall sweepstakes. Again, a difficult task, since it only came from our individual speech event breaks. Yeah, that's right, no one on the team broke in debate. Though, debate down there kind of sucked anyway. The long running joke (or truth, depending on what you think of the situation) from this tournament was Speechalia (the Speech Goddess) shunning the team. Nancy also kindly pointed out that Pussilia was also shunning me, but I think everyone I know already knew that.

Upon returning, it was like moving from the shallow end of one pool and diving right into the deep end. I didn't have any time for breaks, unfortunately. (I guess that's what this three day weekend will be for, huh?) Instead I instantly started reading, writing, and doing homework. I have my Environmental History term paper proposal due this Friday. I haven't really written any of it yet, but I have a source and a great idea. All I have to say is: "Thank you God! Amy Chua really is a godsend!"

Other than that, on this Valentine's Day Single's Awareness Day I'm working on trying to get Pussilia to open up to me a little. Take her off that damn pedestal. End the shunning. Now, whether that comes to fruition or not is another story.

Until then, at least I can count the days until the big 21. Only 23 days. Rock out.

I've been very sporadic and lacking with my posting on my good ol' blog lately. Unfortunately, with the except of school related crap (which I know most of you don't want to hear about), I don't have much to talk about or post.

Though, I can say (now that I'm certain of it) that this semester is the most difficult semester of my college career. I've never been torn between so many books and assignments. It's been stressful, it's has been hard.

But it has been good too.

Through all the stress and freaking out over classes, I've learned, time and time again, that "That which does not kill you only makes you stronger." Perhaps that's the over-riding theme of this semester and subsequent ones to come.

Now, instead of being negative or going into a stress induced nervous attack about all of it (which has never happened! LOL!), I'm working on framing all the stressful situations as best as possible. What better way to start then by thinking about positive things in the future: ONLY 32 MORE DAYS UNTIL MY 21st BIRTHDAY! BAM!

After a stressful week, it was nice to have a good laugh when all was said and done. Thanks for everything, Scully!