Better By Nightfall

I woke up late today and missed my Japanese class. Morning classes just aren't my thing. If there is a class before 10:00 on my schedule, chances are it will be the one I miss the most. I don't know what it is with me and not being able to wake up early, but I just can't. It's a miracle that I haven't missed more of my Japanese class, really.

Some might attribute this to my crazy sleeping schedule, the one where I stay up until two, sometimes three, doing homework or watching television. Then trying to wake up early on only five to six hours of sleep. Some might attribute it to the mass amounts of caffeine I drink during the day, especially since I practically proclaimed I was a caffeine God last year, but in actuality, those mass amounts have been limited to a weekly Venti or Grande Toffee Nut Latte from Starbucks on Tuesday's. It usually runs dead around 3:40 during my Energy for society class where I have to either find a way to make a jokes out of the lecture or buy a coke to stay awake through it. However, given that I don't consume caffeine everyday, I find this explanation to be somewhat misleading. I think the real reason I can't get up early is centered around something else.

Don't get me wrong, I love Japanese. If I didn't, I would've dropped the class a long time ago. However, the class itself isn't the problem. As I mentioned before, it's the professor. I respect him, and I enjoy the class with him, but because the way things are set up in his class I don't feel like there's a real need to be there unless it's a test or quiz day (which happen every Thursday). Without a real sense of purpose, my mind tells my body "Yo! It's ok to get the extra sleep, you aren't missing that much." Even though I might very well be missing a big chunk of something that might appear on the test/quiz. As such, I haven't missed a single Thursday, but I have missed a Monday and a Tuesday (not during the same week).

The odd thing is that I never missed a day of work this summer no matter how late I went to bed. One night I went to bed around 4:30 and still woke up at 6:30 to take a shower. I was exhausted, granted, but I still went to work with a cup of joe in hand and without any real worries. I would always survive these sleep deprived days, and I wasn't always saturated in all things caffeinated.

The difference?

A sense of purpose. I felt like I needed to be at work every day by that time or else there would serious repercussions for my actions. With classes here at college I know my grade will be hurt slightly, but nothing else is really affected. I think that's why I miss some classes. I somehow attach purpose and value to a class. I value all my classes highly, as I love to learn and grow. Purpose, however, varies greatly between classes because not all of them have a purpose OR I don't sense their dire purpose. The latter being a very bad mind set to have.

Having said that, I think I need to find some good things in the class that allow me to attach a higher purpose to it. Once I can do that, I'll probably be able to get out of bed and go to class without too many problems.

Of course, good sleep is always something I should maintain...even though the college atmosphere sometimes doesn't permit it as easily.