Better By Nightfall

Today was my second consecutive Saturday test proctoring for OU. At $10/hr, I'm more than willing to read books and magazines while the students agonize over their horrific tests. No doubt, in about two to three years time I'll be in their shoes doing the same thing. Hopefully without a family of my own though.

That's right. The students I test happen to be my elders by at least 10 years to an upwards 25. Not only are they older than me, but their educational journey and status greatly differ from mine. Instead of going through college the straight four (or more) years, most either had a family or joined the military by the time they were my age. I assume the latter of the two for financial reasons or, possibly, family tradition. Regardless of the actual reason, from what I've seen and heard from the majority of students I've encountered at this job I've come to the following conclusion: I'm not getting married anytime soon or joining the military ever.

When I told the students I was proctoring for the MBA exam that I was only 19, one of them specifically noted that it was "good that I was going through college now than after I had a family [of my own]." Indeed. I thought about his comment and began to wonder what actually prompted him to say that. Had it really been so difficult to decide between his own needs and wants? Or, perhaps, was it the allure of love/family that made the decision for him? I wasn't sure, but it still had me wondering: Are their situations when it's best to give up your needs, wants, and goals for someone else or something?

On prime examination of that question, I would say no, not immediately. Perhaps, out of selfishness too. Upon further examination, though, I would have to say that I say "No" promptly because of the lesson of my parents who were married by the time they were my age. They also already had one son, my older brother, 2 at the time, and were soon expecting another kid, me. Unlike me, they didn't really get to go to college. My dad only went to college for a year and my mother didn't get to go at all, even though she graduated salutatorian from her high school. Yet, here I am, one year of college down and planning on going through the rest without too much interruption. I even have goals right after I graduate, goals that will hopefully take me to Japan for at least two years. When I think about it, I'm doing what my parents didn't really get to do. That's probably why the students comment made me think about my college education so much--he was once like me, but for some reason or another he ended up choosing a path that lead him to this point in time with a family and many issues I have yet to encounter. Unlike him, though, I plan to keep on track and do what I want to do before I am swayed into anything else, be it by fate or decision. After all, I wouldn't ask anyone to give up their needs, wants, and goals for me (at least, not for my own purposes or maliciously), so I hope it would not be expected of me.

Still, as I sat there in that room and watched that man take his test with all he had done up to this point, I couldn't help but think that this man didn't sacrifice his needs, wants, or goals; but rather, he had fulfilled his wishes and was trying to fulfill the ones he knew were still possible in time with everything else he had already achieved. Perhaps, then, he really did do what he wanted/needed the most?

I can only hope that I'll do similar, but again, not the same as him. A similar outcome...minus the kids, at least, for a while. That sounds about right to me.;)