Better By Nightfall

I think, sometimes, I get too serious about debate. Certainly some of my posts on the long dead and not so long ago deleted group blog that consisted mostly of former high school friends would attest to this. I don't know why I get serious either, honestly. I think it's due in part to the fact that everyone, especially myself, wants to be right in a discussion or argument. Perhaps "right" isn't the exact term I'm trying to display though. Maybe justified or assured also fits the depiction, I'm not sure though.

Regardless, I think I get too serious in rounds--even when they are only for practice. Even the most minor of things like the slamming of a fist on a desk will potentially set me off, and, sure, in some way it is understandable. And for reasons unbeknownst to me, I think that sometimes those minor things just hit a nerve. It's not like I "lose it" or go psycho when a nerve is struck, not at all. It's more of an emotional thing, like being told that your pet just died or having a friend tell you that they think what you said was stupid. It's a psychological plucking of a thin string that is usually in tune suddenly sounding off tune--not snapping.

The effect of attachment and seriousness.

For as overwhelming as it can be, it has, at least, allowed me to think a bit more about my actions in response to it. At least, now, I realize that I need to relax more and take a step back every now and then, maybe even laugh at the whole scenario and then just move on. Today, especially.

Wow! My speeches are really rusty! Har har! Shiße! Looks like I need to continue the practice throughout the week.

Also, my SIMS 2 Game isn't working properly! How am I supposed to play it if I can't cheat every now and then, huh? Answer me that!

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be, yeah

I dare you to move...

Dare You To Move :: Switchfoot

It's time to depart my main home and return to my secondary home and my extended urban family. And while it's easier to do with each year, it still makes my heart sink every time I have to hug my parents, sister, and mutt dogs goodbye and know that it is the last lasting closeness we have for the next four months or until whenever I return.

There is, however, no escaping it. As much as I enjoy (and dislike) Germany, I know that Idaho is where I need to be right now. I know that it's time, once again, to continue my education as fun and stressful as it gets--including all those damn three/two day in advance of a debate tournament near-breakdowns that always occur no matter how confident I think I am; or professors who aren't organized well enough to properly teach the material to a degree that it is educational (seriously) AND fun (apparently it's difficult [I'm sure it is, but there are some simple things that can be done to make things more interesting]); or listening to the drama and gossip that seems to hover around the campus and then thinking of ways to easily end the pain in the fastest (and probably cleanest manner). (And we're still trying to be positive, I swear!)

Regardless, I'm on my way back to another semester full of interesting experiences and obstacles that I'll cross when I get to them in their own time. (And for debate, of course, this means I'll be crossing some of them the day after I get back to Idaho). I just hope I have strength enough to move and make it meaningful.

I recently read Dooce's entry on The No Poop Policy and I can't stop laughing! Ha! My sides are kind of sore. Everyone must read this! Haha!

Instead of doing a yearly reflection, list of links, talk of resolutions, etc. typical of most blogs I'm going to simply say "Happy New Year!" and wish everyone well this year.

I enjoyed 2004 for the most part--mainly from May to December* (especially August**), and I'm looking forward to what this year will bring.

May this new year bring you what you ask for.

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*Most of you should get this :P
**You know who you are and you know why ;)