Better By Nightfall

Sometimes, while I'm on itunes, I like to listen to other people's collection of tracks. None more so than "Lori" though. She's got one of the most interesting and eclectic mixes from alternative, oldies, emo, punk, to a nice wide assortment of indie. Lately, while searching through her 20.2 GB's worth of music I stumbled on some Of Montreal whom I first heard about through Bardot. I highly recommend you check out all of their music as it's hip and rock'n to groove to. Plus, their video for Wraith Pinned to the Mist (and other games) is a good watch. I also heardGary Jules (check out "No Poetry") whom sounds alternative borderline country. I haven't heard him before, so if you have kudos to you. I also enjoyed listening to The Notwist (check out "Off The Rails") who sounds indie-rockish. Finally, as recommended by dooce sometime ago, I heard Idlewild who totally rocks the fscking cazba. They're like Coldplay only ten times better, minus the piano, add a violin and some rocking riffs.

Usually I'd go off on each artist's style, but you just need to check them out for yourself. Hopefully the links will get you to some of their music.

I've prepared myself for my midterm tomorrow in Eastern Civilizations as best as possible given the time constraints upon returning from the debate tournament. As I'm not good at writing in when timed as evidenced when I got a 3 instead of a 4 or 5 on my AP English exam (seriously, I stand by timing being the main factor in my inability to get a 4 or 5), I hope I can pull this off well enough. Hopefully I can write well enough that my ideas are laconic, cogent, and succinct.

I know I can do it, I just need to get it done.

It's good to be home after an elongated weekend in the middle of the great plains. While the tournament went surprisingly well considering the judges didn't time any of us, it wasn't of the usual caliber our team encounters. There were good debaters and speakers, but overall, the prevalence of each was minimal with exception to our team. I know that sounds egotistical, but it's true. It was almost like most of the other teams weren't prepared and just showed up for the hell of it. As a result, we won first place by almost double the points of the second place team, and so on.

Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled by the tournament. Still, having Lacey there was a nice change from the last tournament where it was boring and everyone seemed to be feeling each other out. In terms of the social dynamic of the team, this tournament was significantly better.

Other than that, though, the weekend didn't hold much. We ate at the Cracker Barrel two times, which was good. We also ate at the Atlanta Bread Company twice and it was heavenly. I really wish Boise had one of those. The food was excellent, and the atmosphere of the bakery/restaurant was calming and classy. If I had the capital to bring one of them here, I most certainly would!

Yesterday, before we left Oklahoma City, we decided to see the Murrah Federal Building Memorial. It was a nice sight to see, but the museum was, in essence, the nadir of the trip. After winning and having a great time, we were exposed to the depressing footage from that horrible day. As such, most of the team left the museum in silence, thoroughly depressed.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I got a Superior in Impromptu and an Excellent in POI. Go me! Now, the question remains, will I be prepared for the next tournament that is coming up in 17 days?

This semester has been an interesting and perplexing lesson in sacrifice. I'm not sure if it's because I've become more self-aware or if it is because I'm being more selfish than I was before. Regardless, I've come to realize that there is a time and a place for sacrifice and significant costs and benefits with each sacrifice.

Perhaps that's why I've been focusing on my studies more so than any other year. I'm focused on my studies because they are all engaging and interesting this semester--the first time this has happened. It's hard for me to simply half-ass my way through these classes because I feel compelled to do beyond my best as I enjoy these classes so much. That's why, in the wake of this weekend's tournament, I've decided to place my weight and value in these classes over speech and debate. So much so, that I skipped speech today (to finish all my readings and respond to them AND study for a test and a quiz) and slightly offended my coach. And while I initially felt bad, I don't anymore. I love debate, it's stimulating and enjoyable. However, it is not my life. Sacrificing one class of speech so that I can stay ahead of schedule and get the grades I know I am more than capable of and deserve, then, seems like more than proper balance to me.

Still, I realize that I let this powerful perception of my coach get to me. I let it govern my feelings, I let it make me feel guilty. However, and this is ironic (but it is the strange and great purpose of having a brother/family around), my brother helped me realize that my coach, and any problems/issues/etc. for that matter, are only as powerful and difficult as I perceive them. I knew this, but I never realized the weight of it until now. My brother, surprisingly, helped me out. I don't feel guilty for missing that class today, not anymore. I know I did what was right for me either out of self-awareness or selfishness, and that's all that matters. I am a student first and foremost, and this...this is just another tournament in a stream of many more to come. Another issue of many more.

I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise, especially if their intent is to make me feel guilty for a proper and beyond equivalent sacrifice. No matter what happens this weekend, good or bad, I know I made the right decision.