Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I've been taking time to reassess my current situation and, so far, it has helped me feel better. I am still not sure why these existential questions keep lingering, droning out my usual thoughts, but I am taking them as they come. If anything, though, they have helped me rethink what I am doing, what I want to do, and where I am going. In this regard they have been a bit of a blessing, albeit a tumultuous one.

As I have struggled through these times, though, I have been thankful to ask myself, "Where are you?"

"Where are you?" has served a reminder that I am here, in the now—I cannot be in another place nor in another time. "Where are you?" has guided my actions, focusing my movements and intentions, letting me know that I can only move forward from where I am. "Where are you?" has made me see that the past the collection of events trailing the present. Most importantly, "Where are you?" has made me positively refocus the haunting thoughts of chaos/uncertainty/crisis.

It is a fragile defense. A mere stream of words accented by a question mark. Yet, though it is frail, it is an idea—a progressive thought—that has helped me power through. And if I can just recall it—if I can just feel the burning fire within me and the air of hope around me—I know I will be alright.


SMJ said...

I know how you feel, I'm sure we will putt out of this malaise. I keep telling myself I just need to make it through to the summer.

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