I don't care what anyone says. This is by far THE WORST semester ever.
Consider me on break from the blog (as if I haven't been lately) for a while. There has been too much chaos and, instead of posting impetuously, I need time to relax, focus, and breathe.
I fly back home to Germany in a few days and it will be a welcome change of scenery. I'll post again soon, probably when I'm in Germany; after I've had time with my family and time to myself.
Only a few more days...
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If there is one thing I've learned from this semester more than anything else it is that, with support, I can struggle through anything. I have many to thank this semester, and, because I'm not a myspace whore, I will not disclose names. Still, I can't stress it enough. If it wasn't for your warmth; your little reminders in my inbox, mailbox, and cellphone; the late night talking; the silly nights we drank instead of sitting at home alone; your faith in me; and your understanding and concern, I would be a total wreck this semester. I have you to thank. You know who you are and I am ever-thankful for everything you have done and continue to do.
Thank you.
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I can't speak
though the dialogue between us
sits
typed and untouched
on the broken typewriter
in the back of my mind.
As you await a response
and I stumble over mountains
of "uhm's,"
and streams
of "ok's" and "un huh's"
I know what I could say,
though I deny,
because I already know the scene
and your reply.
If I say the words I'm thinking,
if I utter the symbols transcribed
of black ink and faulty structure
fragmented from beginning
to end
on this fragile sheet,
will you even feel?
But I already know
that there is no line
nor word
that I could say
that would make it
real.
The paper is torn,
thrown aside.
Trashed
with the rest;
the mound of thoughts
laid to waste
in the corner of my mind.
As I say "goodnight,"
I feel it as
"goodbye."
And I find,
as I tour my mind,
I'll be lost here,
at this point,
forever,
every time.
** Please do not copy or reproduce this original work. **