Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Back from a gauntlet of a tournament with something to show, still I feel lackluster about my results. I guess I shouldn't complain. I did well (a first place and two finalist awards) and my debate partner and I kicked ass (made it to quarters again), but I feel like I could've done more. It's hard to descibe in full, but I'm constantly reminded of the impending end as it draws nearer and nearer; yet ever so distant. It's about wanting to make an impact, but wanting to let go with grace. It's a bit of a contridiction and I guess that's where the feeling of uncertainty filters through. It shouldn't matter, but it does.

Aside from that aspect of this weekend, I had a blast hanging out with Regan. We listened to music together in our free time and talked about everything. She introduced me to Sanctus Real (this song, Eloquent, is my favorite from their album, The Face of Love), and I introduced her to Darci Cash and Regina Spektor. Whenever we talked about music we'd always end up talking about how we both can't wait to go to Hellogoodbye in November. Man, I can't wait to be there!

All in all, the ride up was fun; but the ride back was even better. As I sat back in my chair half asleep with Regan leaning up against me in slumber, I realized that not only was everything alright; I was happy here.

It must be different through your eyes because you look at me like it's the first time that you've seen my face.

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